There are certain points in my life in my life where I consistently ask myself "why bother?" and "why should I go on?". These are low points that come and go every few months or even weeks that drag me down like quicksand into this dark void of self-loathing and depression until it consumes me fully. It might take me a few days to pull myself out of this black chasm of despair, but I almost always find an exit from those points. However, today I find myself in the middle of this Marianas Trench deep point in my life and I don't see an exit. All I see in this trench is darkness and abominations that terrify the living shit out of me. This album is one of those abominations.
After listening to all 45 nauseating minutes of this auditory manure that was compressed and separated into 13 individual tracks like an assembly line specifically made for churning out music for Scene kids in 2009, I had to take a moment to question every single decision I have made up until this point.
"Is it worth it?" I mutter to myself as I write this. I feel as if I woke up in a Middle School bathroom after some little shit with neon hair and a GIR t-shirt sharpie'd a penis on my forehead while I was sleeping and punched me a few times in my gut for good measure after I came to. This is what my classmates in High School listened to? My God I have even less respect for people I will probably never meet again. No matter what these people amounted to in life: pediatricians, Senators, gloryhole janitors. I can at least go in knowing that I never listened to this kind of rubbish for actual enjoyment. I am serious that if you listen to this album and enjoy it you must have some sort of brain damage sustained from a life threatening head injury or a sadomasochist that is kinkier than I ever dream of being.
Regardless of my own petty disputes towards people I hardly knew, this album is awful. This is the not the kind of awful people encounter in the wild this is a genetically modified awful that winds up tainting somebodies meal and forces a mass recall because somebody contracted a venereal disease not typically found in Snack Packs. I must speak seriously for a moment, if my Doctor diagnosed me with chlamydia tomorrow, I definitely know where I contracted from and that is the song, "I <3 Hello Kitty".
Yes, That is the name of an actual song on an album that was created, I am assuming, but I have doubts, by an adult, and was sold to the American public. My God even Adam Sandler has more respect for his audience than Blood on the Dance Floor. Never mind the title as nothing can prepare you for the terrible music that awaits you. This song is the perfect specimen to perfectly represent this act of genocide toward human decency that is this album.
I have a difficult time discerning, which aspect I hate the most about this song. One moment it might be the absolutely horrid backing track which sounds like it was made on a trial version of FL Studio by a musically impaired chimp with a brain hemorrhage. Or it might be the absolutely annoying vocals that sound like an effeminate teenager boy attempting a valley girl accent. The lyrics fall completely flat on their ass at their attempts at shock value or humor I mean I'm not expecting some G.G. Allin level shock or Flight of the Conchords level comedy from these idiots but at least try. My God, could this idiot find some else to do the backing vocals because it sounds incredibly lazy.
This album is what the past few months have been leading to. I, like any normal functioning human being, would have assumed that Lil Wayne comparing his penis to a mountain all while using imagery similar September 11 Attacks in a Rap-Rock song would be the biggest insult to my intelligence, but I was wrong. Oh so very wrong. I have taken this album as a personal because how else are you supposed to take this as other than a flat out attack on your own sense of taste and human decency? Let this be a warning to you kids, just when you think it can't get any worse, it can, and it will always get worse.
To further emphasis this point, let's put this album into the context of previous atrocities. If Cut the Crap is a napalm strike that wipes out a small community and Rebirth is an eldritch abomination that warps the very fabric of time and space, then this albums falls comfortably into the realm of a raid by the Mongolian Horde that burns down the entire Chinese city and the raiding party proceeding to salt the Earth that surrounds the city to make certain that nothing shall grow there for generations.
Regardless of my own petty disputes towards people I hardly knew, this album is awful. This is the not the kind of awful people encounter in the wild this is a genetically modified awful that winds up tainting somebodies meal and forces a mass recall because somebody contracted a venereal disease not typically found in Snack Packs. I must speak seriously for a moment because if my Doctor diagnosed me with chlamydia tomorrow, I definitely know where I contracted from and that is the song, "I <3 Hello Kitty".
Yes, That is the name of an actual song on an album that was created, I am assuming but I have doubts, by an adult, that was sold to the American public. My God even Adam Sandler has more respect for his audience than Blood on the Dance Floor. Regardless of the title nothing can prepare you for the terrible The perfect specimen from this this act of genocide toward human decency is the track
I have a difficult time discerning what aspect I hate the most about this song. One part might be the absolutely horrid backing track which sounds like it was programmed on a trial version of FL Studio by a tone deaf mollusk with a brain hemorrhage. Or it might be the absolutely horrifying vocals sung by an ambiguously gendered chimp, who happens to be a Ke$ha impersonator, that is attempting to seduce a Rawr Girl with stolen edgy, 6th grade poetry from a LiveJournal page. If you want raunchy, over the top electronic music that is actually challenging listen to Peaches second album, The Teaches of Peaches. Hell even at her worst, Peaches is at least fun to listen to and not mind warpingly depressing like this album is.
This album is what the past few months have been leading to. I, like any normal functioning human being, would have assumed that Lil Wayne comparing his penis to a mountain all while using imagery similar September 11 Attacks in a Rap-Rock song would be the biggest insult to my intelligence, but I was wrong. Oh so very wrong. I have taken this album as a personal because how else are you supposed to take this as other than a flat out attack on your own sense of taste and human decency? Let this be a warning to you kids, just when you think it can't get any worse, it can, and it will always get worse.
As if the intro song "Let's Start a Riot" which sounds like the intro to a CD-I game wasn't bad enough there's "I Can't Get Enuff", which sounds like every other song on the album. You get the twink vocals, the farting synthesizers, and lame sex lyrics. Seriously you want electronic song with a kink or two check out "Sex Dwarf" by Soft Cell, it's far superior than this in all of its 80s cheesy glory.
Every song on here except the last two sound the exact time. It's all the fucking same lame ass backing tracks, annoying vocals, and shit lyrics. I was looking at iTunes half the time because I didn't know which one began and ended. I swear to God every single song on here sounds the same as each beat warps into each other as if it were a bad rave. I swear to God this is a discotech run by a 2006 MySpace reject who was beaten up by some Metalhead who kept on commenting "Rawr :3" under his girlfriend's statuses. Anyways, you could be listening to Tr/st instead of this crap.
The last two…
My…
God…
Track 12, "Falling Star" is a complete rip off of "Pop Goes the World" by Men Without Hats. It's BOTDF attempting to be sentimental and it's as bad as Weezy's attempt at sentimentality on Rebirth. It's a complete waste of time, space, energy, and thought.
"Libertine" is a bizarre attempt at a soft rock ballad. I bet this really brings out the lighters at BOTDF concerts. It's also another attempt at sentimentality and needlessly to say the singing is completely horrid. He doesn't attempt the bizarre falsetto, but instead opts for an even more tone deaf Douglass Rob impression. It's the most listenable, but it's sooooooo fucking boring and drags out the ending more than Batman v Superman.
This album is horrible. Absolutely horrible. Completely unlistenable from beginning to end. In spite of this *sigh* it is not as bad as Rebirth.
0.5/10
Regardless of my own petty disputes towards people I hardly knew, this album is awful. This is the not the kind of awful people encounter in the wild this is a genetically modified awful that winds up tainting somebodies meal and forces a mass recall because somebody contracted a venereal disease not typically found in Snack Packs. I must speak seriously for a moment because if my Doctor diagnosed me with chlamydia tomorrow, I definitely know where I contracted from and that is the song, "I <3 Hello Kitty".
Yes, That is the name of an actual song on an album that was created, I am assuming but I have doubts, by an adult, that was sold to the American public. My God even Adam Sandler has more respect for his audience than Blood on the Dance Floor. Regardless of the title nothing can prepare you for the terrible The perfect specimen from this this act of genocide toward human decency is the track
I have a difficult time discerning what aspect I hate the most about this song. One part might be the absolutely horrid backing track which sounds like it was programmed on a trial version of FL Studio by a tone deaf mollusk with a brain hemorrhage. Or it might be the absolutely horrifying vocals sung by an ambiguously gendered chimp, who happens to be a Ke$ha impersonator, that is attempting to seduce a Rawr Girl with stolen edgy, 6th grade poetry from a LiveJournal page. If you want raunchy, over the top electronic music that is actually challenging listen to Peaches second album, The Teaches of Peaches. Hell even at her worst, Peaches is at least fun to listen to and not mind warpingly depressing like this album is.
This album is what the past few months have been leading to. I, like any normal functioning human being, would have assumed that Lil Wayne comparing his penis to a mountain all while using imagery similar September 11 Attacks in a Rap-Rock song would be the biggest insult to my intelligence, but I was wrong. Oh so very wrong. I have taken this album as a personal because how else are you supposed to take this as other than a flat out attack on your own sense of taste and human decency? Let this be a warning to you kids, just when you think it can't get any worse, it can, and it will always get worse.
As if the intro song "Let's Start a Riot" which sounds like the intro to a CD-I game wasn't bad enough there's "I Can't Get Enuff", which sounds like every other song on the album. You get the twink vocals, the farting synthesizers, and lame sex lyrics. Seriously you want electronic song with a kink or two check out "Sex Dwarf" by Soft Cell, it's far superior than this in all of its 80s cheesy glory.
Every song on here except the last two sound the exact time. It's all the fucking same lame ass backing tracks, annoying vocals, and shit lyrics. I was looking at iTunes half the time because I didn't know which one began and ended. I swear to God every single song on here sounds the same as each beat warps into each other as if it were a bad rave. I swear to God this is a discotech run by a 2006 MySpace reject who was beaten up by some Metalhead who kept on commenting "Rawr :3" under his girlfriend's statuses. Anyways, you could be listening to Tr/st instead of this crap.
The last two…
My…
God…
Track 12, "Falling Star" is a complete rip off of "Pop Goes the World" by Men Without Hats. It's BOTDF attempting to be sentimental and it's as bad as Weezy's attempt at sentimentality on Rebirth. It's a complete waste of time, space, energy, and thought.
"Libertine" is a bizarre attempt at a soft rock ballad. I bet this really brings out the lighters at BOTDF concerts. It's also another attempt at sentimentality and needlessly to say the singing is completely horrid. He doesn't attempt the bizarre falsetto, but instead opts for an even more tone deaf Douglass Rob impression. It's the most listenable, but it's sooooooo fucking boring and drags out the ending more than Batman v Superman.
This album is horrible. Absolutely horrible. Completely unlistenable from beginning to end. In spite of this *sigh* it is not as bad as Rebirth.
0.5/10
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